I did a group workout event with my brother Eric last weekend. The Hustle up the Hancock. We had a lot of fun. 52 floors in about 14 minutes. We goofed around a lot, my ranking was 216 out of 230 people. We stopped by some side stairways that looked almost like ladders and took mock pictures as if that was the stairway we were climbing.

I thought I better get more serious about working out, so, I joined another class at the YMCA. The description was great. Weight and aerobic exercise to strengthen the whole body. The title was “Bodies by Ben” I see these groups in the different rooms, huffing and puffing away, and I kept thinking they looked so intense, I need to build up to that level or I’ll hurt myself in the first class or two and quit. I should preface by saying that I am a new Y member. I started going a few months ago, so all their classes are new to me, hence the utter surprise at being surrounded by old ladies in water aerobics.

Back to Bodies by Ben, the description sounded very tough, so I was hesitant that I would strain something in this class which is 3x a week. I went to the first class this past Monday, I arrived early so that if the people were really built, (or Ben looked gay), I would slip out before the crowd got too big. Fortunately, I did get a good workout. Better yet, it is low impact. We started by holding 2 or 5lb weights, swinging them around in different ways for 15 minutes and than we did 15 minutes of laying on a mat and contorting our core muscles. They did 300 mini sit ups, most people could not keep up. I sure could not. It was tough, I was sweating pretty good. It was a large class, approx 40-45 people. Some of them were wearing “Body by Ben” T-shirts.

The downside is that me, the Y newbie, is surprised again. It turns out that Ben turns 80 next year and is of Asian descent. There were a few people in their late 50′s to 60′s, but by far most were much older than that. The older and chubbier, the more likely to wear a Body by Ben t-shirt.

As soon as we laid on the mat and started the core exercises (the first one was to lay on your back and try to kick your legs up in a bicycle maneuver), mini gas explosions started filling the gym, horrible, loud, prolonged, sing it out proud gas explosions. I wanted to dig a fox hole, but the wood gym was too hard and I did not have a shovel. I swear some guy must have filled his pants as the smell just hung there as if a toxic fume test was going on to prove the strength of the floor lacquer. It was horrible, but the explosions kept coming. It was so bad, it wasn’t even giggle funny, it was freaking gag nasty.

I have a feeling I should start viewing the classes before signing up for them. I need low impact to start, but this was extreme. I know you get out of it whatever you put into it, but this group was really putting into it. It’s not the ‘explosive’ atmosphere I was thinking it would be. On the upside, I suppose it is incentive to work hard and move up to a younger age group. If I stick it out with the class, I am going to make up ‘BM’s by Ben’ Tshirts to pass out.

Water Aerobics is going well… It gets pretty gross if I let my mind think too much. Now that the routines are setting in, I am paying more attention to the actual movements. We seem to do a lot of leg spread exercises and by the end of the class I feel like I am swimming in a giant douche vat. I try not to think about it. The worst part is when a lady suddenly stops in the middle of class and moves slowly to the shallow end where the steps are. They sit there for a few minutes like they are embarrassed to get out, and then they make a quick exit for the door. What the crap is that, if there is a turd floating in the pool, I have a right to know. It has to be in the charter somewhere, if not we need an addendum.